It is often said that the truth is usually better than fiction. Nothing could be more true than the past three weeks. Last year about this time, Dave and I enrolled in truck-driving school, signing on with National Trucking, Inc., in Orange Park, Florida, after MUCH discussion. As per our relationship, one was Pro (Dave) and one was not-so-pro (Maria.) Since signing up, we have completed 32 home-study chapters/tests, and each of us got our CDL permit in January. Not without a hassle. It took me three days and a few extra dollars to get the accreditations I needed.

Maria & Dave in St Augustine

The three-week "residency" portion of the course was scheduled to begin on March 31. We prepped our RV and left Kingsland, Arkansas on March 16. We gradually made our way southeast, seeing friends along the way, via Tupelo, Mississippi, and several stops in Florida: New Smyrna, Melbourne, Palm Beach Gardens, and Miami. A real treat was going to three St. Louis Cardinal spring training games at Roger Dean Stadium in Jupiter.

By March 28th, we were settled into our RV space at Pacetti's RV Park in St. Augustine, and a few days later, we took our pups, Victor and Biscuit, to a local veterinary clinic for a few weeks of boarding. Though we were reluctant to board our furry kids long-term, we knew that it would be the best for everyone concerned. After all, our days were going to be long.

I guess you can call it camping

The day began at 5:15am, and by 7:00am we were sitting in the classroom, although only long enough for roll to be taken and truck keys dispersed. Our class consisted of 26 men and two women, and we were divided into seven groups of four. Dave and I were in different groups, which was probably a good thing. Over the next two and a half weeks, we learned so much: how to perform a pre-trip inspection, how to test air brakes, how to couple and uncouple a trailer, and how to drive and park the behemoth, 10-speed tractor-trailer. Classroom instruction lasted from 3-5:30pm. That was the most entertaining part of the day, as there were a few Vinnie Barbarino-types in our class. No doubt, the conglomeration of human beings that made up our class was the most amusing aspect of trucking school.

Maria checks the fluids on a Freightliner (note the camo baseball cap)

Maria at the wheel

Maria's Road Truck

Most of the class were ordinary types: some had been laid off from their jobs, some were in search of a career-change, and a few were retired military looking to subsidize their retirement benefits. Learning how to drive a tractor-trailer was stimulating in and of itself, but being immersed in a guy's world was even more riveting. Guy-talk is extremely colorful, not at all politically correct, and has more than its share of lewdness. Rather than taking offense, I found it rather entertaining! A few of my classmates couldn't seem to articulate a single thought without inserting the word "fuck," or its antonym, "fucking-shit." Translating something like, "Swing that fucking pig in there!" was easy. ("Hurry up and park the truck!") "Fucking-shit" referred to everything that was not good, and used in every imaginable context, from someone's driving ability to today's lunch. And, Dave's favorite: "I bet you could get it (the tractor-trailer) in if it had hair around it!" Hearing that day after day eventually wore off on me, and I found myself thinking like they were talking! One evening, while fixing dinner, I surprised myself (and Dave, even more so) when I uttered, "Where's the fucking marinade?"

Dave backing into a loading dock

Parallel Parking

Final testing consisted of eight individual tests, all of which Dave passed successfully the first time around. It took two extra days for me to realize the same, and when I did, we went to the DMV right away to get our CDLs. How this will fit into our personal life-puzzle remains to be seen, but the entire experience gave us such a feeling of accomplishment, and we have even become safer drivers in the process. This learning experience was entirely worthwhile, and we're glad we did it.

We passed the Coupling Test